OZEMBITCH™ is an independent clothing and editorial project built on a simple idea:
what we wear says things before we do.
Clothing isn’t neutral. It sets tone, creates expectations, and often decides whether someone feels invited to come closer or stay away. This project treats clothing as communication—not decoration, not costume, but a way of putting something clear into the room without having to explain it.
The shirts are meant to be readable. They carry humor, intention, and a point of view. Sometimes they start conversations. Sometimes they quietly prevent them. Both are useful.
Alongside the clothing, OZEMBITCH™ publishes editorial writing about communication, attraction, and the awkward space that exists before anyone speaks. The focus isn’t shock or provocation for its own sake, but clarity—using language and humor to reduce guessing and unnecessary performance.
This project is for people who don’t love small talk, but still want connection.
For anyone who knows that sometimes the easiest way to be understood is to let the shirt go first.
Founder’s Note
HELLO, I’M MARCO. AND I SUCK AT SMALL TALK.
MAKING FRIENDS AS AN ADULT ISN’T EASY—ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN INTROVERTED, AWKWARD, AND ONLY FUNNY ONCE PEOPLE ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW YOU.
AFTER TOO MANY “WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME” MOMENTS THAT LED NOWHERE, AND SOCIAL EVENTS WHERE I SAID NOTHING BUT THOUGHT EVERYTHING, I REALIZED SOMETHING: MAYBE I JUST NEEDED A SHIRT THAT COULD SPEAK FOR ME.
THAT’S HOW THIS STARTED.
I WASN’T TRYING TO BUILD A FASHION EMPIRE. I JUST WANTED A BETTER WAY TO CONNECT. A SIMPLE OPENER. A WAY TO SAY THIS IS WHO I AM WITHOUT OVERSHARING OR OVERTHINKING IT.
THESE TEES DO WHAT I COULDN’T ALWAYS DO. THEY BREAK THE ICE, MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH, AND SOMETIMES SPARK REAL CONNECTION.
THIS IS FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN’T ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY, BUT STILL WANTS TO BE SEEN.
LET YOUR SHIRT DO THE TALKING.
LET PEOPLE COME TO YOU.
— MARCO
FOUNDER OF OZEMBITCH™
(YES, I REALLY STARTED A BRAND SO I WOULDN’T HAVE TO START THE CONVERSATION.)